Angeles City

Last night we went to Angeles..and I think it was a whole lot different than what any of us were expecting. We were in the devils playground for the night ..and it wasn't a pretty thing.. the hardest thing is knowing that what we are seeing isn't even half as bad as the stuff we are unable to see.
Angeles is a huge city about an hour away from Olongapo where we are currently living. It a place known for its bars, clubs and huge problems
with prostitution. We decided to go to get more information and photos for the book we are producing as well as to do some bar ministry. We got out of the jeepney and the street looked like the ones we had been in Olonagapo. but the minute we rounded the corner it was a whole different story. I felt like I had walked into Las Vegas strip club or a movie scene. The road was lined with clubs, dancers and prostitutes standing out side trying to bring you in. My mind wasn't sure how to process what was going on. and stomach became queasy at the sight of all the american men walking down the street. It was sick, most with wedding rings, others so old they were walking with a cane. They looked like dads, teachers, fathers. what were they doing here! Go home to your families! we wanted to shout. We split up into two groups. The first bar we went into I felt like, what the crap am I getting myself into.. I felt this huge heaviness as we walking through the door/curtain. It felt like walking through a time warp or into a movie..walking into a different life. I've never been exposed to anything like this before. The room was small and overly crowded with female waitresses and dancers. The center of the room was a round bar with close to 25 girls on top dancing while looking in to the mirror. They were wearing nothing but bras and underwear. The looks on their faces
showed how much they did not want to be there. They barely moved as they danced, their expressions emotionless as they watched themselves in the mirror. One by one the men starting coming in. Young, old, fat, skinny. Mostly white men. It was so disturbing and I quickly found a girl to talk with so I could block out everything else. She was a waitress working there and such a sweet heart, she told me how she doesn't dance and wont ever go out with a customer, she has a boyfriend and is in nursing school. It was encouraging to hear from someone who values themselves still. She commented on how different we were from other foreigners who come in, we are simplier, quieter. She could tell we were different. I began to tell her why we were here and spoke to her about how our hearts break seeing these girls...they have so much worth and potential, they are so loved. She was such a beautiful girl and it was nice to be able to talk one on one. The next bar we went to was even a different story. Three floors high. The first floor had tons of tables and a stage for the dancers,
the second floor has girls lined up and table and couchs for customers to sit, and the third floor was pool table and "VIP rooms." Each girl had number. that to me was one of the most disgusting parts. it was like we were in a store and the men were just watching and looking to see who to pick, and when they found the one they wanted they would point a green laser at her to let the "mama-son" or pimp know who they wanted for the night. This bar was so loud and the girls were so busy with what they were doing that it was almost impossible to get any girls alone to talk with. I felt defeated like there was nothing I could do but sit their..and by doing that I felt as though I was no better than the men sitting and watching the show. I walked up to one of the men to try and talk to him.. he was from Texas. when I asked what brought him here he said his friends then scooted over implying he was finish talking with me. I wanted to chew him out right then and there but I couldn't even find the words to say. My mind could do nothing but pray pver the bar. Pray for restoration, pray for conviction on the men, pray for new jobs for the women working there, pray for the lord's spirit to flood this place. I started talking with the waitress that had served me my drink. she was SO young looking and her shirt was a different color than the other waitresses. I found out later that she was new, she was in training. her smile and face was so beautiful. I got annoyed with the volume in the bar and stepped outside to where I could actually have a normal conversation with someone. She was out there and I talked with her and another older waitress. They were both so friendly, she told me their were over 200 girls working in this bar. Most because of living in poverty and needing money to support their families. I asked them what their dreams were, what they would rather be doing.. the one girl said her dream is to find a good guy and get married. I told them I would pray for them and that the Lord would give them the desires of their hearts. We talked for awhile and I was sad to leave thoes girls. We decided to leave Angeles City early that night because of how intense it was for some people. While we were waiting for the other group I saw these girls behind the counter of an open air bar along the road. They had no customers and they were just hanging out texting or whatever. I felt like we should go talk to them so I grabbed a friend and walked over. It was such a nice change from how the evening thus far had been. It was outside..it was quieter, and their were no customers. The girls said they were 18, 18, and 20 although they looked much younger than that. we just sat and talked for awhile and got to know each other. When I asked them what they like to do for fun , in their free time, they looked at me blank and confused. I asked if they ever got a day off and they said they would have one day off every 15 days. and they sleep on their day off and they work 12 hour shifts and sleep and other hours. So they have no real free time, they don't know anything other than work work and work. I felt so sorry for them. With the help of the translator we were able to tell them about the restoration home we re staying at and share the gospel with them. at the end we then prayed for them. I was so happy that after a frustrating night of not being able to REALLY deeply talk to anyone, we finally got to. We exchanged names and gave then the name and number of the place we were staying. We said our goodbyes and piled in the jeepney to head home. We arrived home around midnight but decided to take sometime to process together as a group. We expressed our frustrations..how was felt defeated and like we were unable to have any good and lasting conversations with the girls. how were werent really sure the purpose of the Lord allowing us to see some of the things we saw. Our leaders reminded us that we are the salt and light of the world..whether we feel we accomplished anything big or not wherever we go the spirit of the Lord is with us, and he was there that night and we may not know how our words effected those girls after we left. We've been making this book on prostitution and last night we were given an in your face taste of it. The Lord was allowing us to see this stuff..allowing us to experience it be apart of it for the purpose of growing our hearts for the issues and making the stories of the people we have interviewed more real. Our leaders reminded us that even in a place that is so full of sin, so hopeless feeling, there IS hope and the lord IS GOOD. He has control over the sun and stars and moon, he knows every hair on your head and he knows every single girl working down there. His heart breaks for them even more than ours do. And although we felt defeated and hopeless that is a lie from satan because their IS HOPE and the LORD IS GOOD. My friend shared a passage in Zephania 3:5-20 that the Lord showed her after we got back and it fit perfectly. I wont share it on here because this post is long enough but please take the time to read it, keeping in mind this city and these girls, and pray for them with me

bar ministry.

Bar ministry is tough.. it really gets you emotionally.. this is the 4th time i've gone now but tonight I feel a different heaviness over me.. tonight I could feel the spiritual battle as we walked down the streets.. I wish so badly we had more time here but I am thankful for the relationships that have started and I pray that they may continue even after we leave this town.
We've been doing it for two weeks now and soo much has happened! I hope I can give you a taste of it throughout this blog and be able to give you a glimps into my heart for these girls.. I know its a long post but bear with me.. its good :)
Last Monday was the first day we went out. I remember walking down the road thinking what in the world am I doing here. What right do I think I have coming in as a white American christian and sitting down ordering a coke at a bar to talk to some girls. I felt so out of place and unsure of how the night would go. In that moment the Lord reminded me that I have EVERY right to go and sit and talk with his children..his daughters. The first bar we went into was pretty empty and I met one of the girls working there, her name was also Marissa :) we hungout and played some pool with them and just talked. I was disgusted by the fat old white men that would come it. pervert. Thats the word that kept going through my head. We moved on then to a second bar and me along with two friends sat at the bar and drank coffee speaking with the manager all night. She was really sweet and explained how they are more conservative at this bar and dont have prostitution. They actually make a girl pay a fine if she leaves with a guy.. It was nice to hear that someone has some sort of respect in their bar but I was still saddened to look around and see the young looking girl waitresses in tight blue dresses flirting with the guys.


"Roxanne"
The next day me and a friend were walking around town randomly handing out surveys to gather statistics for the book we are making. We stopped at a bar and handed out one to the manager, she looked at it and read that it was about prostitution. She chuckled but agreed to fill one out.. What happened next was totally the Lord and so unexpected! We came back a half hour later to pick up the survey and instead of us just taking it, folding it up and moving on, she had us come in and sit down. Handing it to us she told us to go ahead and read it in front of her. "I was completly honest," she said "And we can discuss the answers if you want to." We were so shocked. We sat down with her and asked a little bit about her story. Her children were there in the bar with her and got to meet them. They were so sweet. As we were sitting and talking with her my heart began to go out to this family I didnt even know. And I told her just that. I placed my hand on her knee and began telling her how much worth she has..even if this profession may have stripped her of her dignity and worth..she is SO loved and so cared about. My friend proceded to tell her that NO man could ever put a price on her, and even if he tried it wouldnt be high enough. Tear began streaming down her cheeks as well as ours :) it was such a special moment :) and so unexpected. We explained to her why we are here and about the book we are making. She said she'd love to have a copy of it someday and that it was nice to know people cared. Calling us her three angels, we said goodbye promising that we'd stop by later that night.
The night for bar ministry we split up into groups again and me and my two friends went back to visit "Roxanne". She hungout with us the entire night in the bar along with her kids, just talking and building a relationship. It was so sweet. That same night we met some other girls who worked their who we invited to a beach day we were having on thursday
Thursday was BEACH DAY! :) all the groups who had been going out into the bars invited the girls they had met to the beach. We had so many girls come! It was such a fun day just getting the girls out of the normal routine and work focus that they are always in and just play games, dance and laugh :) "Roxanne" and the kids came as well and it was so fun to see the kids having a blast in the water. I talked to Roxanne a little and asked if she was having a good time, She told me that if was nice to see so many people who cared and she could tell we all had good relationships and spiritual relationships. It was neat to see how much she was processing what was going on around her. The next day a few of the girls from the beach came over to the place we are staying at and we played more games and talked. We planned on sharing the Gosple and praying for them but we were unsure of how to begin. But Gods grace was with us and with no effort on our part, one of the girl stood up and asked us for prayer for her friend that led us into praying for two others girls as well. we were amazed at the Lords goodness. While we were praying with some of the girls, the other girls had tears in their eyes, it was sweet to see how God was touching their hearts through our words. They had to leave and get to work so we said our goodbyes and promise to be praying for them.
Since that day at the beach, me and my friend Sarah have been randomly stopping by and visiting Roxanne and children at the bar. There's been good days where shes wanted to talk and then bad days when she seems more closed up and you can feel the spiritual warfare. As we get closer to finishing this book the devils schemes are becoming more apparent in trying to destroy these friendships with the women that we have been pouring into. I've gotten to go out to lunch with one of the girls and my friend and talk with her one on one and and we've printed pictures for them of them and their children. It so hard knowing we leave in a few days, I wish I had more time with these beautiful people but I am thankful for the relationship that have come out of bar ministry and I will always be praying for them.

surfs.up

you'd never think a simple kids movie could provoke such a revelation of Gods love in your heart. Tonight was family night here at the Tamar center and we watched surfs up. I sat on the floor watching the kids and moms come in.. two of my favorite little boys ran right over and sat at my feet..we proceeded to make shadow puppets until everyone was ready to watch haha :) As the movie was going on I kept looking around me at these women holding their children smiling together watching the movie..they are such amazing moms and to think of how they all used to be former bar girls and prostitutes. They all have such amazing stories and you'd never know of their life before by looking at the women they are now. Words of mixed Tegalo and Engish bounced about the room as everyone laughed and commented on the movie. I love the language they speak here and I wish I knew more of it..its sounds SO pretty when they speak it, a sound i've come to love so much..everyone here speaks decent english but its so fun to hear them talk together in Tegalo. All of a sudden I became overwelmed with love for these people. We've been staying here almost a month and I hate to think that we are leaving in a week. I could physically feel my heart growing inside of me and my emotions being captivated by love for the amazing mothers and children sitting around me. It was the strangest thing, but it was so God just filling me with a deep deep love for them. This sudden instant of my heart being gripped and captivated almost brought me to tears.. I'm realizing how incredibly much I am going to miss this place when we swich locations. There are still a few Moms that I would love to get to know better and pour my time into.. the other day I printed out a few pics i had taken of some of the kids on base here and today I passed them out to the moms. It was SO sweet to watch their excitment to have a recent photo of their son or daughtor. I'm hoping I can do that for every mom here before i leave. :)

thank you so much Jesus for this night..

love this song..

One thing I ask of You
This is what I seek
That I may dwell in Your house
Feel Your pleasure wash over me

One thing I ask of You
This is what I need
That I may hide in Your hands
Feel Your presence fall over me

And I am confident
Of this one thing
That my eyes will be blessed
When they gaze upon Your beauty
And my lips will be sweet
When they whisper words of praise
And my heart will be dancing
When it knows that You are with me

And I will see Your goodness
In the Land of the Living

-enter the worship circle

his infinate faithfulness

Wow God is good :) like seriously. he is goooodddd haha :) I can feel myself constantly falling more and more in love with him, so full of his joy and creativity. Seeing the beauty of this country the way HE sees it. I'm falling in love with the Philippines as well, these people are so sweet and so beautiful. The constant storms and cooling evening rains bring such joys to my heart. Sitting outside on the balcony today I slowly watched as the mountains in the distance disappeared. Soon the thunder cracked and the rain showered down. The inked leaked down the pages as droplets of water escaped onto my journal..
We are currently in Olongapo City staying at the Tamar Center which is a YWAM ministry that brings in prostitutes off the streets and from the bars and disciples them for, I think, a year. So there are lots of single women here and lots of little kids :) such beautiful people with awesome stories of Gods redemption and restoring powers. We are working on making a book for Verg, one of the leaders here, on prostitution in the Philippines. She plans on sharing it with the government and then spread it throughout the communities. We truly believe that God will use this book to make a shift and a change in this injustice isssue. Pray for continued out-pouring of Gods holy spirit and wisdom on every sentence, photograph, quote, color and interview that goes into making this book come together. So far we have narrowed down that its going to be a square hardback and we have been doing many interviews of prostitutes, pimps, former prostitutes, Government officials, police officers, social workers, community members, as well as collecting many photographs. Today was also the day that we narrowed down the main colors for the background and text of the book. (photo Alyssa Shrock)Its starting to come together but there is still lots to do in the last 3 weeks we have in Olongapo. Its so amazing to see the honesty in the people we interview, they have just opened up their hearts and allowed us to see their story and their side and opinions. Definitely Gods doing for sure.
The past two nights we have been trying to do bar ministry and both nights got rained out. Last night, the second night that it happened, we were all frustrated and really feeling like we weren't getting anywhere with the book. The electricty had gone out and we decided to have a night of worship. We were realizing that the Lord just wanted us to lay aside the book and reconnect with him, somthing we had been asking for but not making time for. So HE made time..he is SO faithful to us even when we aren't faithful to him. We made some tea with the little bit of hot water that was left and everyone brought together the little bit of snacks they had, which consisted of cookies, some New Zealand chololate and a small bag of chips ;) With candles lit and a play-list of worship music flowing through the room we sang, prayed, worshiped and fellowshiped together. A lovely and much need evening resting in his presence :)
The other day me and my friend Alyssa walked around and got to know some people on the street. If was so fun just going out and talking with people. And the kids, haha they are so fun how they all just flock to us "the white americans" :) i love it though.. they are so beautiful and you can just see how the Lord loves them, HIS children. As we were walking back a heard a girl playing guitar down one of the alleys. We stopped and talked to her for a little and i even played some guitar as well :)

One of the very first people we got to speak with who was a working prostitute was (rachel). Verg brought her in off the street one night to talk with us. She is such a beautiful girl and only 21. She was so open with us and answered our questions. We asked about her story and how she started prostituting. She got married at the young age of 16 and had two children. Her husband was "crazy and lazy" and she wanted out of the marriage. Around the same time her mom got in a fight with the sister in law and it turned into a legal issue where the mom now owed money. The mom heard about how her niece was prostituting for money and so she thought maybe they should do that, (Rachel) agreed to do it because she wanted out of the marriage. The sad thing is (Rachel) is still in the business helping to pay of a motorbike the family bought to use as a source of income, taking people around town. She is the only one in the family with a job. They, including her kids all live together with her parents and siblings and no one else works. Family honor is so huge in the Philippines and (Rachel) talked about how she wants out but she has to help her family out of debt. It was so sad. Her family, including her kids, live in the provinces about an hour from Manila. She lives in Manila in her apartment with a friend while she is working which is like 6 days a week. And she goes home to visit her family only like once a week :( She told us a little bit about how she works. She charges 300 Peso (about 6 US dollars) the pimp gets 100 and she gets 200 peso. And thats for 10 minutes of sex. She work from 5 in the evening till 3 in the morning. Her dream is to be a nurse or a teacher. It was the weirdest thing siting through this interview. We had just finished dinner and Verg invited her in to eat some of the leftovers. It felt like dream. Was I really sitting here talking with a prostitute?? How does the Lord see these girls, Lord give me your heart for them, was what I prayed. She then said she had to leave because she had to "get back to work" :( Before she left my friend Sarah wrote a sweet note for her and gave her a geode stone. We had brought these along to use as a ministry tool. With the help of Verg translating, we explain how the geode stones are rough and beat up on the outside by there are beautiful crystals on the inside. And how She has worth in God's eyes even if she's a little beat up on the outside. After she left we kinda sat there in shock. We could tell God was just bringing these people to us, not wasting time haha we had only been in the Philippines for a couple days. As Verg came back in the house she brought another older lady along with her. This time is was a female pimp. She loved and respected her deceased husband enough to not prostitute herself but she became a pimp instead. My westernized view of prostitution was girls in mini skirts and stilettos and male pimps with suits and canes and white hats wearing bling. But its so different here. As we learned, most of the pimps are females. And as a pimp you aren't really in charge of a certain amount of girls as you are in charge of a street. The pimps just kind of walk up and down he street yelling "chick! chick! you want chick!" to the men walking by and directing them where to go. Sitting and talking to the women made the issues of prostitution so much more real. Before she left we wrote her a note and gave her a stone as well. It was crazy to see God entrusting us with the responsibility of speaking into these peoples lives and hearing their stories. The amazing thing was, after the girls all left, Verg told us that on the way back out to the street (Rachel) told her that she would like us to meet her family! Hearing that was SO huge because her family is in a way supporting her being a prostitute and us meeting them I would think would be something that could potentially bring a lot of shame and embarrassment to her but she was so open to having us over. The staff talked it over and decided that the next day we would go :)
So Monday morning we woke up early and took the hour jeepney ride over to her families house out in the province. It was such a tiny, poor, one room house. With only one mattress for everyone. They were so sweet though and we managed to all fit in the house and her mom cooked us all lunch together. They had a karaoke machine in the house (karaoke is HUGE in the Philippines) and so we sat and sang along with (rachel) and her friend, it as so fun just hanging out in this tiny house with them and singing karaoke. It started storming outside and suddenly this huge thunderstorm came (and actually got pretty scary at one point haha). But it was just so beautiful sitting in this home with a family who had nothing, enjoying some coke they got for us and singing karaoke at the top of our lungs :) The whole series of events over those two days was so unexpected but it was such the Lord just placing these opportunities in our hands. Such a blessing that we got invited to her house. We ended up, with the help of a translator, talking to her dad about his faith and he shared how he use to be a Christian but then when he lost his job and moved he stopped going to church. By the end of the conversation he agreed that he would like to start working on relationship with the Lord again and he wanted a bible (which we ended up buying one for him and rachel the next day). And then we got to pray over the family. Such a beautiful and unforgettable time. We photographed them and then got the photos printed for them to have a nice family picture. We said goodbye and headed home thanking God for these opportunities he was giving us and excited for how he will use us in the weeks to come :)

(girls name had been changed)

Hello from the Phillippines!

first off.. I am alive :)

I arrived in the Philippines exactly a week ago today and have not had internet until now :) we are at our 3rd location since arriving. The heat here is next to unbearable and i doubt i will ever get used to it :) none the less its not so bad when EVERYONE is soaked in sweat.. the sun is bright and the humidity is very high..i think its like 98% haha and like 98 degrees out :) The people here are so sweet though and such servants, always wanting to do this for you and bless you with the best even if it means sleeping on the floor so that they can have a bed. The first 3 days we were here we stayed in Manila with a sweet lady named Kit :) Her house was so cute and so tiny! I seriously feel like a giant in this culture haha our group barely fit in the kitchen. We did some shopping for things we needed like shampoo and stuff. kit also gave us some orientation on the culture and history of the Island. At night we went to Manila National Park and walked around and had a picnic. Saturday morning then we went to the slums and did a bible story skit and sang songs with the kids and then fed them lunch. This "kids club" is one of the many ministries Kit heads up. She is one ah-mazing woman. We also got to feed them lunch :) it was so awesome to see the smile on these kids faces who had nothing. I led them in a game of red-light green-light although here the kids call it pepsi-seven up haha. because these american soda drinks are so treasured here. It was such a blessing to be able to just spend some time with these children, my heart completely went out to them. That afternoon we had a siesta and rested back at the house and then at night some high school students came over and i led worship and our staff member dave taught a lesson on the beatitudes. It was a nice little bible study and it was fun to pray for them and then have them pray over us as well :) After the bible study, Kit thought it would be nice to treat us to a "delicacy" in the Philippines.. Balot. basically a 16 day of duck in the egg still...but cooked. SO GROSS tho! it seriously was like fear factor..all of us in a circle peeling away and getting ready to attempt this haha i think about half the team, including myself, got most of it down :) hopefully i wont have to ever do that again over these next months :/ haha. Sunday the 4th then we left to go to our second location in Manila. This time we were working with Viergie at a "drop-in" center which is basically a house that the working prostitutes can come to get a good meal or sit and talk with Verg. There is lots of prostitution in this area and Viergie has been working and building relationships with the girls on the streets. It so sad how common it is here. Sunday night she took a few of my teammate out on the streets with her and they said it was heartbreaking seeing all the girls out. Some looking like they were 10 years old. Verg introduced them to a girl named (rachel) that she had starting building a friendship with and they invited her back to the house for the leftovers from our dinner. The sad thing was she agreed but told Verg and my teammates that they would have to wait a little because she just got a costumer..so they waited. it was so heartbreaking they said and it made it so much more and personal than prostitution was ever before to them.

Since this blog has gotten long enough I will continue with what went on the rest of that night in my next post...
so.. to be continued..

[name of girl is changed to protect her privacy]